


You made me this mess

by Lethalliin



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Cousin Incest, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Molestation, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 17:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15667653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethalliin/pseuds/Lethalliin
Summary: I had an anxiety/panic attack and needed to let it all out. Please don't read if you're triggered by non-con/molestation. I am a CSA survivor, and I need to sometimes write things to help me. This is about being molested by my older cousin.





	You made me this mess

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is not just fiction. This actually happened. The non-con is not explicit, but it's there.

_"Shhhh, it's our little secret. Don't tell the adults."_

  
We were young. I didn't know what you were doing. I trusted you. It felt weird and strange and right and wrong all at the same time. I didn't know what was going on. I was stupid. You were a bastard.

 

_"Kiss me, or I'll have you do naughty things with me."_

  
It was years later. I thought you'd forgotten what you had done. I thought you'd changed. You were the same bastard you were back then. But I wasn't stupid anymore. I told you no. But I don't know if you listened to me or if you did things while I slept.

 

_"Where are you, cuz? I didn't see you at school."_

  
I left because of you. I couldn't stand staring at your face any longer, and I couldn't risk ending up in the same class as you. So I fled like a coward because every time I saw you I'd panic and tremble with fear. Because of you I couldn't trust men. I couldn't conceive a possibility that they meant no ill intentions.

 

You left me scarred and broken. You fucked me up in more ways than one. I'm still pulling all my parts back together, still trying my damndest to put them back in place. I'm moving on, but I'll forever bare the scars you left on me. I'll always glance over my shoulder or shirk away from physical contact. I was already troubled before you had to fuck it up even further.


End file.
